A common question we receive from many of our clients is, 'When do I let my kids start to handle their own money and make their own money decisions?'
One of the most meaningful gifts we can provide our children is the confidence and skills to manage their own money. With that said, it is not easy. Our instinct is to help and protect, but sometimes that may send the wrong message, like they are incapable or we don't trust them. When we allow our kids to make their own decisions and deal with any missteps, we are not neglecting them, we are empowering our kids.
Dive deeper into this topic by reading the related blog - How to Wean Your Teen
Transcript:
[00:00:09.15] I'm Shane Tenny, Managing Partner at Spaugh Dameron Tenny. If you're a parent like me, especially with kids in high school or college, then you may have begun to think about when I should let my kids start handling their own money or making their own decisions. When do I start to wean them off of my payroll and onto their own? This is a really important question with really important answers, because one of the most meaningful gifts we can give our kids is confidence and skills in managing their money. It's tough. We want to help. We want to protect. But sometimes, without meaning it, we're actually sending the message that they're not capable. Whether it's keeping them on our cell phone plan until they're in our 20s or refilling their dining account while they're at college, sometimes our actions, despite our best intentions, actually undermine their growth and self-confidence.
[00:01:10.17] I've been there. In fact, the reason I'm recording this is because of a conversation I had last semester with my college-age son, who called to let me know that he had used up his declining balance account. That's the free money on their dining plan that allows them to eat at any restaurant. Well, I said that was too bad. He'd have to spend the rest of the semester just eating in the cafeteria instead of at Chick-fil-A. You know what? He survived. Most importantly, he learned how his behavior and choices impact his money. The same lesson that you and I have to deal with every day, he's now learned at the age of 20.
[00:01:52.29] When we allow our kids to struggle a little bit, we're not abandoning them; we're empowering them. Financial missteps now are a lot less costly than they can be later. And most importantly, they build confidence. They start to believe, I've got this. And you know what? They will.
[00:02:13.14] So, what can you do? Well, start with some small handoffs. Talk with them early in their college experience about your expectations for when they will start to pay for their own cell phone bill or their own car insurance. Talk with them about some realistic ways to keep track of their spending and any income that's available. Then let them make decisions, even bad ones, and deal with the consequences. Letting go isn't about losing control. It's about giving them the tools to stand on their own.
[00:02:52.01] I hope this encourages you in your parenting journey. As always, if you'd ever like to talk about more ideas on how to equip kids financially, don't hesitate to reach out.
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