There are certain taboo topics of conversation – money, faith, and politics – that many are told to avoid discussing in polite company. However, when you have decided to share your life with another person, talking about money and finances is essential.
Discussing money with your spouse can be uncomfortable, but avoiding the subject can lead to resentment, misunderstandings, or even financial infidelity. Whether you are newlyweds or have been married for decades, learning how to navigate money conversations can strengthen both your relationship and finances.
Here’s how to talk about money with your current or future spouse in a way that builds trust, sets clear goals, and brings you closer together.
According to a December 2024 Bankrate survey, nearly 23% of U.S. adults who are married or living with a partner have kept or are keeping secret debt from their spouse or partner.
Being financially transparent is non-negotiable. Your partner deserves to know if you’re entering the marriage with student loans, credit card debt, or a complicated investment portfolio. This often includes six-figure student debt for physicians and dentists – don’t let it become a surprise after the honeymoon.
Start with the facts: your income, debts, assets, and spending habits. Then talk about how you’ve historically managed money. This builds a solid foundation of trust.
Do you want to buy a house in the next three years? Retire early? Take a sabbatical or fund your child’s education?
Write down your top three financial priorities and have your partner do the same. Then compare notes. Where you overlap becomes your starting point; where you differ becomes a discussion.
The “money talk” isn’t a one-and-done. Make it a regular part of your relationship. Once a month, sit down together to review your budget, track progress on savings goals, and talk through any upcoming significant expenses.
Choose a time when you’re both relaxed, not right before bed or after a long workday. Block the time like you would any important meeting.
Listen fully when your partner opens up about their financial fears, dreams, or experiences. Don’t jump in with solutions or counterpoints. Sometimes just being heard is enough to reduce tension.
Give them space to talk without interruption. Ask open-ended questions like, “What was money like in your family growing up?” or “How do you feel when you think about retirement?”
Compromise may be one of the most important words in marriage. This is even more true when it comes to your combined financial life. It’s rare for two people to have identical money habits. Maybe one of you is a saver and the other a spender. That doesn’t mean you’re incompatible; it means you need a plan.
Instead of trying to “fix” each other’s tendencies, agree on shared policies. For example:
Money is emotional. It’s tied to your upbringing, values, and sense of security. Disagreements will happen, but they don’t have to derail the conversation.
If you feel yourself getting heated, take a break and revisit the topic later. Staying calm helps you both stay focused on solutions instead of spiraling into blame or defensiveness.
Being on the same financial page means more than merging bank accounts. It means agreeing on your approach to major decisions.
Here are a few ways to show commitment through financial partnership:
For high-income couples – especially physicians, dentists, and executives – finances can get complex. Don’t hesitate to bring in a professional.
Working with a financial planner can help you:
Having a neutral third party at the table can reduce stress and create clarity.
No one gets everything right. If you or your spouse has made money mistakes, show grace. Learn from them and move forward together.
Think of your financial journey like a steeplechase: you’ll encounter obstacles, but the goal is progress, not perfection.
Talking about money may not come naturally, but it’s one of the most important things you can do for your relationship. Start with honesty, stay curious, and keep the conversation going.
If you and your partner could use guidance in creating a financial plan that reflects your shared values and goals, we’re here to help.
CRN202805-8712653
Joannah is the Director of Marketing at Spaugh Dameron Tenny. She enjoys helping brands tell their unique story through innovative digital marketing and communications initiatives to grow brand awareness. Feel free to send any blog ideas her way.
/Logo%20Horizontal%20(4).png?width=2000&name=Logo%20Horizontal%20(4).png)