In this episode of the Prosperous Doc®, our host Shane Tenny, CFP® talks to Dr. Cindy Tsai about the root of perfectionism, the connection between perfectionist-induced stress and physical symptoms, and how to overcome this chronic belief system.
Dr. Cindy Tsai considers herself a recovering perfectionist. Having been motivated by extremely high standards for much of her life, Dr. Tsai found that her perfectionist tendencies were actually holding her back, impacting her relationships, and causing her to overwork herself.
In this episode of the Prosperous Doc®, our host Shane Tenny, CFP® talks to Dr. Cindy Tsai about the root of perfectionism, the connection between perfectionist-induced stress and physical symptoms, and how to overcome this chronic belief system.
Dr. Tsai discusses her own experiences with illness as a result of perfectionism’s toll on her body, as well as the work she has done to overcome it. In her self-help book “So Much Better,” Dr. Tsai outlines the key three pillars to overcome perfectionism: calm, confidence and curiosity.
“It’s a resource and guide that I wish I had years ago, because in my own journey, I realized that there were so many other modalities and techniques and practices that can be very helpful and transformative,” says Dr. Tsai of her book. “These are skills that anyone can learn and master. And so that's really the intention behind it.”
Name: Dr. Cindy Tsai
What she does: Dr. Cindy Tsai is a board-certified internal medicine physician in San Diego, CA. She is also a life coach, a TEDx and keynote speaker, and the author of the self-help book “So Much Better.”
Words of wisdom: “It is so important and helpful to reframe that perspective so that you're not thinking that if you don't get it right or perfect, you're not good enough.”
Connect: Website | LinkedIn | Twitter | Instagram | TEDx Talk
Top takeaways from this episode
[03:08] Defining the enemy: According to Dr. Tsai, perfectionism can be defined as the unwillingness to accept anything less than extremely high levels of standards and performance. It’s the need to be the best in all areas of life.
[04:42] Practice makes perfect(tionism): This unhealthy ideal is lauded in society as a way of life. Perfectionism is bred from the fear of failure, inadequacy, and disappointing others.
[08:17] Physical symptoms of stress: Dr. Tsai came to develop physical symptoms, such as blurred vision, from the stress of her perfectionist tendencies while in her medical training. It made her pause and consider the deeper cause of her symptoms.
[17:25] Redefining self-care: Dr. Tsai’s book “So Much Better,” which is based in mindfulness, provides different tools and techniques for readers to master calm, confidence, and curiosity to overcome debilitating perfectionism.
[24:24] Looking within: In order to successfully become a “recovering perfectionist,” Dr. Tsai urges listeners and readers to really do the work within.
[26:41] Other self-help leaders: Thought leader Brené Brown’s “Gifts of Imperfection” and Kristin Neff’s books on self-compassion influenced Dr. Tsai and showed her the value of vulnerability and being forgiving with oneself.
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Disclaimer: Prosperous Doc podcast by Spaugh Dameron Tenny highlights real-life stories from doctors, dentists, and those whose work can help them to encourage and inspire listeners through discussions of professional successes and failures in addition to personal stories and financial wellness advice. Spaugh Dameron Tenny is a comprehensive financial planning firm serving doctors and dentists throughout the U.S. To find out more about Spaugh Dameron Tenny, visit our website at http://www.sdtplanning.com . You can also connect with our host, Shane Tenny, CFP®, at shane@prosperousdoc.com.
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Top quotes from the episode:
[05:39] “When you are grounded and confident and comfortable in who you are, when you know that you can take care of whatever comes your way, you don't have that same level of fear and worry that when you make a mistake, it’s the end of the world. We're all human and mistakes happen. And I really always say that we're always trying our best in that moment in time with what we have.”
[13:09] “It's only when you have some type of health diagnosis or some type of crisis that really forces you to slow down, right? Pause. My intention is to really encourage people to pay attention right now. You don't have to wait until you're sick to do something to take better care of yourself. It starts right now. It's time to redefine self-care.”
[25:04] “In my work, especially coaching other physicians and physician leaders, I think it's so important for us to really have this collaborative space and to really look at what are the things that are working for you and what are the things that are not working for you. And being very mindful and intentional about crafting something that works.”